Frozen New York
If you haven’t heard all the buzz about this - then watch. If you’ve seen it then it’s worth a second go.
Archive for February, 2008
Live Blog – China Business Summit: ANZ Bank’s CEO
Mike Smith, CEO, ANZ Bank spoke this morning at the China Business Summit hosted by the City of Sydney.
“It’s tough out there, particularly in the financial centres of New York and London.” Sub-prime write-downs now exceed $140 billion (write-downs are bank-speak for losses). This exceeds the GDP of New Zealand. The first bank run in a century occurred in Britain; Northern Rock bank was nationalised this week.
Liquidity is placing pressure on corporate and there is increasing volatility in share markets. “There is no longer a disparity between what is good and what is bad.” Australian banks are being treated with the same discounts as USA and European banks – yet Australians
“Credit worthiness is like oxygen – you don’t notice it when it’s around,” said Warren Buffet. Perhaps he should have said you notice it when it’s not around.
In this environment sovereign funds are welcome relief – and Australia needs to consider carefully policies on these funds.
The Australian economy and banking centre are weathering the current financial storm better than any Western economy. The Asian markets are less dependent on USA so slowing will be modest across the region. Asia is in a much stronger macroeconomic position that in was a decade ago.
The importance of China to Australia’s future…
Today we are at another turning point – by 2015 China will once again be the world’s largest economy. In the 19th century we had the European century. The last was the American century. We are now in the China century. It is vital for Australia to embrace China and recognise our future must be linked to China.
Our future success for the economy and our businesses is liked to China and to Asia.
China and Australia: The Conspiracy Theory
In “Conspiracy Theory” Mel Gibson is a crazed homeless man seeking to convince Julia Roberts there is an assassination attempt being plotted. It’s wonderful when the insane engage the sane. You question the separation of insanity and what is normalcy.
Today I sat next to a sane looking businessman here at the China Business Summit. He shared a theory about the future of Australia.
By 2050 Australia will be an outpost in the People’s Republic of China. The 200 million middle class Chinese can’t squeeze into Mainland China so the vast country of Australia seems a perfect outpost. With that longer term view in mind, China is seeding the nation today with some 80,000 students. These pioneers will bridge the cultural and language differences – much like astronauts establish colonies on distant planets in science fiction movies.
But Australia offers more than a great coastal community for over-populated China. The strong natural resource base is mandatory for China’s growth. A pipeline for natural gas is under development. Maybe one day that will offer ways to ship other resources.
We have the only Mandarin speaking Prime Minister in a Western nation. (”I doubt George Bush speaks Mandarin,” said Mike Smith, CEO, ANZ Bank at the China Business Summit. “I question if he even speaks English.”) Was Rudd then sent to study in China much like “The Manchurian Candidate”. Melbourne’s mayor is from China.
So here’s the movie idea (pay attention Universal Studios – you heard it here first): Australia in 2050 with Chinese flags flying and Mandarin-speakers wandering along the beach-front promenade at the Gold Coast. So many things look familiar – it’s good old Sydney beach-side. Yet there’s a strong element of the foreign. Dim Sum and noodle shops have replaced fish and chip shops. A low-flying Qantas plane passes overhead (still with its iconic red tail – but the kangaroo now has a star off its tail). And while rich Chinese eat and shop, second-class citizens originally from Australia serve and clean.
The Gold Coast has become China’s Florida – the beachfront community for rich retirees. Sunscreens had been used to protect the skin – it’s unacceptable for Chinese to have dark skin (that signals a job in the fields – way too plebeian for wealthy). But at this future date silver tennis ball-sized satellites are in stationary orbit above the Gold Coast to deflect the worst of the sun’s rays.
To drive the plot then maybe there’s an insurrection – or just a “Planet of the Apes” style revolutionary who rails against what’s now accepted as normal. Slowly people wake to the change – but isn’t it too late?
Or should I posit – isn’t it too late right now? Isn’t the train hurtling to this destination today? Mandarin is the second most common language in the Sydney basin – after English. Australia’s largest trading partner today is China. Tourism relies on Chinese – today they’re the third highest visitor base.
Come on Universal Studios – this is a great premise!
Speak to my agent…
Live Blog: Making Direct Chinese Investment Politically Acceptable
China is rich. Not like “new money” flash car rich. China is “kingdom of Saudi Arabia” 1980s petro-dollar rich – times ten.
So why haven’t their Sovereign Wealth Funds bought up more of the economy? Australia’s banks and mining companies have to be cheap. After all, what’s a few billion dollars between friendly countries?
Maybe it’s bad PR. After all we commoners still perceive China as a communist state best known for the Cultural Revolution and Chairman Mao. People say China and we think human rights abuses, Tibet, Tianneman Square and bad-fitting collarless jackets. Who wants to swap the set of crooks for another – better the devil you know, eh?
But have no doubt. In time we’ll see more direct ownership of Australian companies by Chinese firms and funds. Today’s acquisitions are through joint ventures, minority shareholdings or via blandly named funds or holding companies. Yet before that can happen – and be acceptable politically – the country of China does need to better develop its reputation among the mass populace.
Opinion leaders and business professionals are already “on board” with China. Yet that hasn’t driven down to the Late Majority and other large pockets of the population. It also hasn’t reached government - as China and 3Com learned today (see The New York Times).
It will take more than a series of “Survivor China” to gain mass support. But that was a good start!
Live Blog: China Business Summit
Today in Darling Harbour the City of Sydney hosted an inaugural “China Business Summit,” sponsored by Austrade, ANZ Bank and KPMG. The Economist was the official media partner – I learned about the session as a subscriber.
For an inaugural conference attendance was good – not an overflow but now empty, either (especially when you consider tickets cost $220 each).
The Hon. Ian MacDonald, MLC, Minister for State Development with NSW Government started the main session. His opening keynote speech highlighted the rationale for the links.
Why China? Australia grew up a distant partner to Europe. In the 20th century the allegiances shifted to the USA. Today our largest trading partner is China. And the links are more than purely economic. Chinese New Year in Sydney is the largest celebration of Lunar New Year outside China.
Exports are the primary link. Exports account for 1 in 5 jobs in Australia – in rural Australia that’s 1 in 4 jobs. Today the economic relations with China are $50.5 billion – with NSW claiming $15.4 billion. China is the largest trading partner for Australia and NSW. Its annual growth rate last year was 11.4% and puts it on course to overtake Germany as the third largest economy.
Just 20 years after Sydney was founded the first schooner left laden with seal skins for Canton (today Guangzhou). It returned with tea, china, silk, toys and trinkets. Today aluminium, wool, coal, copper are shipped via that same route. NSW exports the highest amount of coal in the world.
Beyond exports Sydney is now exporting intelligence – PTW Architects designed the Beijing Olympics aquatic centre. Called the “Water Cube” the centre can host 17,000 spectators and uses advanced building technology. Some say it looks like a cube covered in bubble wrap.
Those visiting the Beijing Olympic Games can take advantage of Austrade’s business club – a “matchmaking service” for business professionals taking place in Beijing during the Games.
Republicans for Obama
The USA election in November is shaping up to be a mud-slinging festival.
Republicans will be coming from behind after eight years of a Bush presidency. Will they ask W to stump for McCain in the Heartland? Probably not. They’re likely to keep the President away to avoid any stains - much like Gore distanced himself from Clinton when campaigning in 2000. (And no, I didn’t mean THAT stain - get thee to a dry cleaner, Miss Lewinsky.)
But who will the Republicans face? If it’s Obama then yesterday the job for the Republicans got easier. Michelle Obama said in a speech, “…for the first time in my adult lifetime I am really proud of my country.”
Now if you’re not American that’s the equivalent of standing up in a crowded church and admitting you’re a kiddy fiddler.
Americans and patriotism go hand in hand. The Fourth of July is a boon for flag manufacturers. Everyone knows the words to the National Anthem (unlike Australia, where the best can only get through the first verse - and just what does “girth by sea” mean?). America is a nation defined by its nationality and abject pride. Michelle spat in the fountain of freedom.
It’s easy for the Republicans to generate dislike to Hillary Clinton. She’s always been a polarising figure. But Obama is fresh and new - and unknown. So like lions in a tense wait before pouncing, the Republican Party is waiting for the day Obama becomes the Democratic candidate. Michelle just gave them plenty of ammunition for a full on attack. And of course there’s the fact he’s from Chicago. Seems anyone from Al Capone’s home town is immediately a gangster, much like anyone from New Jersey is a high-haired airhead. (”Like, oh my god, that is so not true!”)
Put on your plastic coats - the mud is soon to fly!
VD Special: Hate is not the Opposite of Love
The chocolate is gone and the roses are in the vase. Valentine’s Day is well and truly over. But you must review the latest wordsmithing from The Washington Post. This time you had to develop a two sentence poem - the first declaring passion and love, and the second negating that with hate or disharmony.
Reminds me: Someone once said hate is the opposite of love. It isn’t. Hate is too passionate so it has more in common with love than we’d like to acknowledge. The opposite of love is anitpathy. Not caring at all is as far from love as you can be. Right?
Now onto those couplets…
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you has screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you ’cause I was pissed.
I thought that I could love no other
– that is until I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don’t take that paper bag off your face.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe “Go to hell.”
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
Writing for the Wrong Audiences!
You have to laugh…
I’ve been keeping an august tome on-line trying to address issues like politics, public relations, government accountability and the likes. And every week about 5,000 people check in (believe it or not).
So imagine my surprise when I write about the Kylie Minogue special on Channel Seven the other night - and instantly readership doubles!
Am I to delve into current affairs or try and keep to the high road?
One Kylie? I Prefer Four
Channel surfing last night in a hotel I watched a segment of the Channel Seven special featuring Kylie Minogue. “The Kylie Show” was a star-studded celebrity special broadcast in prime time. And like every red-blooded Australian I was pleased to see our little Kylie up there belting it out. Sadly it didn’t hold my attention too long.
It did make me remember a memorable night years ago when living outside Detroit. We’d taken my mother into one of the inner-city casinos launched to help revive downtown Detroit (it didn’t). While my Mum and partner gambled I sat in the bar not drinking. But then up on the giant plasma behind the bar a Kylie video started. “Come Into My World” boggled my mind then and now. It’s an inventive way to use new video technology and music mixing.
Kylie walks out a store and does a large circle around an interesction. When she gets back to the shop front the first Kylie emerges again - and now we have two voices singing the song. The pair interact, nearly collide and when they get back to the shop…you guessed it!
Creative writing won’t do it justice. Take a moment to enjoy - after all, if you’re Australian you’re predisposed to wasting a little bit of time at work cruising nifty sites on-line. And if you’re American, just turn down the speakers before you click the YouTube link.
Witty, Wonderful Way With Words
The Washington Post asks for submissions annually to its unusual word challenge.
The paper’s Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the p erson who doesn’t get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn aft e r finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:
1. coffee, n. the person upon whom one coughs.
2. flabbergasted, adj. appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. abdicate, v. to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. esplanade, v. to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. willy-nilly, adj. impotent.
6. negligent, adj. absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. lymph, v. to walk with a lisp.
8. gargoyle, n. olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. flatulence, n. emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. balderdash, n. a rapidly receding hairline.
11. testicle, n. a humorous question on an exam.
12. rectitude, n. the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. pokemon, n.. a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. oyster, n. a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishism’s.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. the belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. circumvent, n. an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
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