Friendships are easier in the digital age. Instead of long letters to two or three people, I post an update and voila - all my friends know what’s happening. Ethan’s soccer team won on Saturday! We had a family reunion in Richmond on Sunday! Man do I hate cold Monday mornings! Too easy!

Friendships are harder in the digital age. My friend Jenny left Australia last month and she’s living now in Chicago. I see her postings and add witty retorts. She asked: “Need suggestions…..what type of car would be best for living in Chicago?” Numerous comments flowed - most of them practical and plain. I got creative:

Now it’s 24 hours later and Jenny hasn’t replied. She’s not been on Facebook and hasn’t added to the conversation. So immediately I feel a need to un-friend her. How am I to maintain a friendship thousands of miles apart?

That last question is extremely selfish. I myself have changed continents four or five times. I’ve left established friend networks to take up new jobs in new cities. And now that I am the one left behind, I feel the raw anger and disappointment that comes from losing a friend.

Friendships in the digital age are no easier and no harder. They require effort and upkeep. You lose people to new cities, new jobs, new opportunities. But you make new friends.

Perhaps the lesson is that you need to calibrate your expectations of friends. Jenny is busy settling into a new city. She has no network and is busy unpacking, finding a school for her twin boys, finding a new hairdresser - all the challenges I am intimately familiar with.

I’ll continue to send witty missives - and look forward to the day we can laugh over them together. What’s a good time of year to visit Chicago?